i don't like sucking hair
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
