mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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