He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
