We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
