the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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