Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
