i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize