i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
