There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
