So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
