you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
