Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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