Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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