just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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