Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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