I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
false alarm. still invincible.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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