Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
