you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
