I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
