also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
