You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
