Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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