I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
