Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
