My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
