do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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