just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize