I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
