I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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