This girl is more easily done than said...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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