How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
