Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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