Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
