I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
