I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
