Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
