I feel like abortions should bother me more
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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