You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize