Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was like eating out sand paper
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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