i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize