So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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