Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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