Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
