Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
