chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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