Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
