That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
