no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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