Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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