I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
