I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize