Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize