alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
