dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
