Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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